I Am Happiest When [No.45]

Posted by Jill Chivers in Happy

The loss of innocence

Some say that unhappiness is highly correlated with the loss of innocence. The loss of innocence often happens as a transition from being a child to being an adult, and is often associated with the realisation of the harsh realities of life. Sometimes the loss of innocence comes with a traumatic or tragic event – say a death or a divorce. And sometimes it is a slow dawning that the world is not always a friendly, welcoming place and that there is pain and disappointment in the world (and that you’ll experience it at some point, if not multiple points, in your life).

However it happens, we all lose our innocence in some form, at some point. And perhaps it’s true that during the transition from innocence to its opposite (guilt? experience? rude awakening? awareness?) we feel a loss, a sadness, a grief.

In short: we are unhappy.

I have been thinking a lot about this losing of innocence and how related it is to the experiences of unhappiness I have gone through (the experiences which led me to start this year-long exploration of choosing happiness, and exploring the landscape of happiness and its surrounds). And I believe there is indeed a correlation between losing one’s innocence and unhappiness.

But the thing is: you aren’t in a continual process of losing your innocence. You lose it, then you recover from it. You come out the other side wiser, more experienced. Sure you may also bring some wariness with you, but you are usually more discerning and able to evaluate situations that are worthy of you from those that aren’t.

So whatever unhappiness accompanied the losing of innocence also dissipates and eventually disappears, or at least burns down to low embers. If we don’t hang on for grim death to the things we have lost, then the feelings of unhappiness we have experienced (or are still experiencing) will also, eventually, pass.

I am happiest when (#45)

It’s Sunday. I enjoy my Sunday’s which are usually a combination of household chores, which I enjoy doing in some strange domestic goddess way, and relaxation. Sunday is a day I look forward to in a quiet sort of way. Sunday’s are usually peaceful, and I often feel reset and ready for the week ahead after a day spent in pottering and relaxing.