What Happens When You’re Here?

Posted by Jill Chivers in Body Image, Self Care and Self Awareness

This is an intriguing concept I learned from my friend and colleague Pam Fox Rollin from IdeaShape. She asks: what happens when you’re here?

Pam encourages us to consider what comes with us when we walk into a room – what does our presence evoke, catalyse, cause?

She also asks us to consider our personal qualities – who are we and how does that change the people in the rooms we enter?

And finally she asks us to consider our life experiences — what accomplishments, failures, challenges, memories, understanding, points of view, observations, history, stories, adventures come with us?

When I facilitated Presentation Mastery for big corporates, we would talk about each participants “autobiography in motion”, and how we brought our story with us everywhere we went.

Even if we aren’t aware of every aspect of our own story and its impacts and reach – our story comes with us.

I believe part of our journey in life, and certainly when we are in the process of healing from unhealthy and unhelpful behaviour patterns such as compulsive overshopping, is to find our story. To claim our stories, really own them. And to share them wisely.

So what happens when you are here? Take a moment now and consider all that comes with you when you’re here:

what personal qualities do you bring?
how would you describe your presence?
how does your presence impact and affect others?
if you were to ask others what comes with you when you’re with them, what might they say?
what stories, adventures, accomplishments, history, experiences come with you? How do they impact the way you show up? Your presence? The way others experience you?
what biases do you bring?
what attitudes and beliefs come with you?
what happens as a result of you being here?

It’s intriguing to contemplate, isn’t it?

Here’s what shows up when I’m here:

What happens when you’re here?

Based on many factors, including feedback from others and my own reflections on what happens when I’m here, here’s what I believe I bring with me:

I’m really with you. I’m paying attention. I give you the most valuable thing I have – my attention. I see you. I’m focused, I’m fascinated, I’m with you.

I share myself. I’m generous with my stories, my feelings, my points of view. Hopefully without taking up space that isn’t mine. I want to give of myself, and allow myself to be seen.

I make things happen. I’m a mover, a shaker (but not a candlestick maker). I mobilise things – things happen, they get done, when I’m around. I encourage movement. I move myself, and I inspire others to move too.

I facilitate. I want to know what you think, what you feel, what you imagine, what you remember, what you have to say, to contribute. I don’t want to be the only voice – I want to hear yours. I make space, in many ways, for that to happen.

I listen. For a talker, I’m a pretty good listener (in fact, my first online venture, now sadly decommissioned, was all about the power of listening). I listen on many levels, to your words, to what your body is saying, and what my instincts are saying to me about all I’m taking in from you.

I bring structure, I bring shape, I make a place for all that’s being contributed. This is to be sure nothing gets lost or overlooked, or goes to waste.

I’m human. I make mistakes. I trip up. I do the wrong thing. I say the wrong thing. I talk too much. I take things too personally. I let my usually dormant feelings of occasional self-unworthiness get in the way. I get defensive. I compare myself to others and feel I’m a failure and spend too much energy on that stuff.

I bring a sense of possibility. I bring humour. I bring fun.